Knifey Chris Was Cool

I Was Reading a Book Yesterday,
It Was About a Person Who Discovers a Song that is Haunted with a Spell.
A Culling Song, it Could be Sung in about 3 seconds,
and After it Being Heard, the Listener would Be Reminded of Life's only Certainty.
Death.
Death would come Instantly, and with No Evidence.
The Perfect crime. Painless and effortless. Without all the Mess of Blood and Guts and Silly Smells.

You would think that Blood on Your Stuff Would Look Pretty But it Doesn't for too long.
I remember once with my Druggie I Cut Myself by Mistake.
There was a Knife that a friend of my friend Gave Me and Was on my Drawer.
We called Him Knifey Chris. He was always Sharpening a Knife.
That always Made me a Bit Uncomfortable But Knifey Chris was Cool.
And a Bit too unemotional too me.
We were both very High and My Hand was bleeding a lot.
We where both laughing.  I asked him what should I do?
He told me it would be cool to write with My blood on the walls.
I though it was a cool Idea (It Was) I drew happy Faces all over and my name on the walls.
And The Word Blood in My Computer.
Blood after it gets dried up doesn't look as Red. It's more of a reddish Brown.
Actually I Lied. It Does look cool. My Computer still Says Blood.
I moved out of that apartment upon Moving to my third city.

The Guy in this Book Swears that he Wouldn't Use the Song. But He Fails to do so.
He begins Killing His Loud Neighbours. His Boss. That dude on The Street That Called You Asshole.
He Was Talking about Serial Killers and What Makes a Serial Killer.
They talk about this Serial Killer that Caught My Attention.
He Liked to Lure Young Boys to his Home promising the Boys that He Would Give them Money
If they Posed Naked for Him in pictures.
He liked to drug them with Sleeping pills and when they Fell Unconscious He would Tie Them Up.
Get Them Naked, Tie them to a chair and Drill a Hole with a drill in Their Skulls.
Not Too Deep to Kill them, Just deep enough to Penetrate the Skull. Without hurting The Brain.
Then He Would Inject Muriatic Acid into Their Victims Brain so They Could Become his Sexual Zombie Slaves.
When the First Victim  Woke Up He Told Him That He Had A Headache and Asked for the Time
Since His Experiment Failed He Drugged Him Again and Strangled Him. Had anal Sex Repeatedly with the Corpse. Ate it. And kept the Genitals and Head in the Freezer.
. He Tried The back of the Brain The First Time.
It didn't quite work so He Decided to Try The Frontal Lobe For The Next One.
The Next One Young Boy He Lured was fourteen Years Old.
 He Drugged the Boy and Drilled a Hole in His Skull, then Injected Acid on His Frontal lobe.
Before Falling Unconscious The Killer Brought the Boy to His Room. There was a Rottening (I know the Word Doesn't Exist But Sounds way Cooler Than Rotting Don't You Think?) Corpse that He had Killed 3 Days Prior. According to The Killer the Boy Didn't Care Much.
I think that having seven sleeping Pills and Acid on The Frontal Lobe Might Have Contributed to this.
But I'm Just Guessing.

The Boy then Passed out.
The Killer Stayed There Chilling with the Unconscious Boy For a Bit, then Went to a Bar, Got a Couple of Drinks and Bought some More yummy Alcohol.
When he Got Back He Saw the Boy In a Corner of The Street Talking to 3 Hysterical Women.
 They Said they Just Called The 911.
When The police Arrived He told them, That He Was His 19 years old Partner.
And That It was Just Domestic Abuse.
The Officers Told the Girls to Shut the Fuck Up Even When They Said That the Boy Was Struggling to want to Go Back to his Apartment.
Also That There was Blood Coming out of his Asshole.

For The Next Victim he used Boiling Water Instead.
After the Second Injection of Boiling Water On His Frontal lobe The young Boy Went to a Coma for 2 Days and Became His Sex idiot Before Dying.
He Went on to Cannibalizing The Victims And Kept Their Heads as Sex Trophies.

Quite A Charming Fella.

The Masturbating Park

She told me that we had to go to this park.
She said that late at night.                
People of old ages would get to this park and suck each others off.

There was a Goth Bikini Party I Wanted to go.
I couldn't go.
I had a compromise that I forgot, I had to play some guitar for something, for a show.
It't wasn't happening but I had to be there, and I wanted to be there.
I need music or I'll go mad, Very messed.
I had to tell a Human that I cared so much that I couldn't attend.
Words of love never wash away...
They never do even if you want to.
She Was Cool.
She Left Early anyways.
By Night I mean, I was Busy During the Day.
I was such an ass with her at some point, jeeez.
I'm Just a Human and Humans Mostly Suck.
I got My own Human know so nothing matters.
Nothing ever does.

 I got my dick out at regent Park.
I Peed.
I couldn't wack off.
I tried.

My dear friend of mine showed himself with a skirt the other day.
I felt so lame I wasn't wearing or doing something anarchistic.
 You got  me sir, I love you you, not in the complete gay way. But art means lot. Specially when it does't drown you in a pool.

We saw 2 black guys sucking each others dicks in the distance.
I had to laugh.
I didn't
As A matter of a fact i Did not laugh.
I just examined what was going on.


I didn't care.
I did care.
 I drank a 48er of wine. Went to bed.


Sleep well.
Maybe not.
ass burns.

Naked on the Moon

There Was A Neurotic Psychotic Black Cat On The Corner of My Room.
The Blind One Didn't Listen.
The Deaf one Was a A Narcissistic Imbecile.
And The Mute One Had The Biggest Words.
He Just wasn't Able to Distribute them properly with his mouth.

We were all naked in the corner of my empty room.
There was underwear scattered all over the place.
Most of it was soiled with menstrual blood.
Some of it had piss and blood.
There were also the unusual "shit and blood' combo.
That kind of soiled underwear makes the best kind of stories.
If it doesn't involve menstrual blood it means heavy tissue damage, plus well,
poo.

The Blind one was sure that everybody was ugly.
And most of them were, in many ways. But He was Cocksure.
Paradoxically (fucking fancy word eh?) He was very good looking, But was the Ugliest of all of us.
The deaf one, could only see Imperfections on people faces and had an Ugly soul.
The mute one masturbated, He was really smart. He Was Drooling with insect joy, Blank eyes.
He was unable to cum, he had been masturbating for the past hour an a half but really seem to be enjoying himself. He was the happiest and wisest.
I Liked him a lot, He Grabbed my shaved skinny leg, He even pet my balls a bit.
I Let Him do it. His Mind was somewhere else.
A place Beyond me I could not comprehend.

We all crammed in this corner of my room, naked, crazy hairy and sweaty.
Well I Wasn't hairy. I am never hairy. I Shave all my body just in case I feel Like going out in a dress for no reason.
I don't like body hair, I think it's ugly, I think everybody should shave, not only girls but thats just me.
Hairs in your asshole seem pretty gross anyways.
That shouldn't be there for "People of though"
Toilet paper is gross too. I would expect to have a way to completely clean feces of our anuses.
Maybe in the future we won't have to worry about fecal matter in our asses. But that might be just me.

The cat stared at me. She was an ass model, Thats what I though for a second.
I created this reality in my mind that the cat had a bigger mind than all of us combined.
Probably did.

The Mute one masturbated harder, Stuck a finger up his ass. He was so happy.
Nirvana.
The Narcissistic Imbecile put a thong on and started yapping. He wasn't mute but he was deaf so he sounded exactly like a seal.
He was on his knees making seal sounds.  You know? wuuuuupppp wuuuuuuup wuuuuup he was even clapping.

I needed to take a leak. I went out naked and peed into somebody's car.

And That Means What?

I met Christina The other day.
She has been a lot less fun to me lately.
It breaks my heart only halfway though.

She has been on schizophrenic injections lately.
One every month.
She is a lot less crazy therefore a lot less interesting to me.
Yet a lot more Human.
Which makes me feel bad since that would mean I use the mentally diseased for my entertainment and I might Just be one.

When you are on anti schizo injections an obvious side effect is that you cannot get pregnant.
You are sterile.
Bone dry. Maybe would be a good thing, since when I met her, she was too sexual and twisted.

She would scream out loud about fucking babies in the face while pregnant and stuff like that.
I liked that.

She has become too serious since she has been on those injections.
I don't know how to feel.
She has become more sensical, thats for sure.
But at he price of becoming boring to me.
Yet Not savable.

She never understood what Joy Division Was so its all forgiven dear.


n.n

Brothels In the Dark

My Prostitute "Escort" Friend Came to Visit the Other Day.
.... People Like to Sugar Coat Words.
Not that I care Much really.
I know a couple of prostitutes.
Well, That's a Lie.
I know 2, One Male and one Female.

The Male one is extremely, creepily  close to the way my mindset is.
I like him very much.
He is a Homosexual whore.
He is not gay, He is Bisexual.
Pansexual really but let's not get fancy here.
I Have a feeling that he is into females like myself (It took a whole bunch of homosexual make out sessions to discover that)
Not that I care much really. I won't care about your opinion unless I Love you anyways.

Very goth, very good looking, incredibly interesting to talk to, Very easy to like.
Very sophisticated, emotional, and passionate.
He is in the the very Nihilistic spectrum.

He and I are In the Field where your words float and explode in the horizon but there's no one to hear them or to care for them, So you can do as you please since you will die at some point and Somebody calling you a faggot won't matter.

I haven't heard of him in months, I hope he is doing alright.
I never got too deep into what was it like to sell your asshole.
But for our mindset and for what I know about him it would be something like.
"It's like allowing someone to put dirt in your eyes on purpose. When you don't want it of course."
Survival of the fittest.
And leaner and sexier I guess.

I Feel Really Bad For Her But I Have Done As Much as I can In My power to Really help this female human.
She Doesn't Like to Read So I Know She Won't Read this... Even if She did She would Be too Fucked up to Care.
She doesn't like to think eather, it's easy for her to say "Hey you sexy guy "(insert this task)" for me.
I told her that her body and pussy won't be popular forever. But she has some mental issues as well. So I am Not qualified to say shit really.

Apparently when she was 16 she was kicked out of her home, and Her boyfriend at that time made her have orgies constantly with his friends.
Orgies of 5 to six people with a 16 years old, You Know, ass and pussy quadruple threesomes, stuff like that.
She said that she felt dirty, but I haven't asked her about further feelings. I will soon.

She came visit me 2 days ago, maybe 3 who cares really.
The place that she works is a brothel.
She has to fuck 6 to 5 people a day.
She told me that 75 to 80 percent of the fucks suck pretty bad.
Most of them are muslim dudes, and they have twisted dicks according to her.
You know when you are a young boy (If you are uncircumcised of course) and your daddy tells you (My mother did since I don't have a dad) That you have to pull down the skin of your dick down to make it look like a mushroom?
Aparently their dad didn't cause its a sin,

They make her pay 40 bucks to stay per night in there, She is pretty dumb in the sense that she makes a whole bunch of money enough to rent an apartment but c'est le vie.

Well in this guys culture (according to her) touching your dick is a sin, so they never pull down that, and your dick ends up bending in an evil way since there is nowhere to grow.
And all their dicks end up growing like evil twisted branches, and cum extremely fast.

Don't quote me though.

She came for a short bit, She helped me getting a couch inside of my place, She dropped it on her foot inside of my building.
There was so much blood all over, There was blood on the aisles, on the floor, On my walls. Lots of it.
I didin't want to touch it, but it was there, Like some virulent plague.

____________

She told me that for you to be able to fuck that much you have to be on something.
She does crack every once in a while.
She doesn't smoke it though. She snorts it.
I never heard of someone doing it that way really.
I mean the stones are very crystal like. I would not advice that.
But that doesn't fuck your gums....

So after that you would be out of it. She is always high and or drunk.

I told her about my suicidal stage in the winter, I said.
Hey dear, I was so sad a couple of months ago, I wanted to die.
I had a whiskey bottle a day. I stood home without going out or showering for 2 months maybe 3 . Just Because. Nothingness.

She didin't listen. Don't try reasoning with starfishes.
Then I met This Human.  But thats another story cupcake.
A rainbow emerged.

It Was Rainy Day and My Hair Was all Wet.

It Was Rainy Day and My Hair Was all Wet.
I Was Driving my bike from my old landlord.
Quite a nice guy, from Bangladesh I believe.
Always so calmed and relaxed.
My same age as well.
He was Helping Me Move to My New apartment,
He needed the place back since his sister and her husband are moving there.
The Apartment that I was  subletting was in a community house building.
He helped me move which was nice of him.
 I asked him how he was while he was driving a van with all my life crammed in there.
He said that he wasn't doing that well.
He said that he just came back from His Psychiatrist.
He told me that he was stuck with a sudden shock of depression out of the blue for no reason.
He was engaged but couldn't deal with the pressure so he lost his to be wife.
He decided he could not deal with the pressure of his mental state.
He has a lot of money, he has around 5 houses that he rents so he doesn't even need to work.
C'est la vie.


It was an interesting place to Live.
There was a lot of crack heads around,
I almost got stabbed a couple of times.
Crack heads are so unreliable.
They will lie easily, but their lies are dumb so you have to be very naive or too fucked up to shallow such stupid things.

I was very naive.

Once they fuck you over somehow and you tell them: Hey fuck you
They'll get the  olfa knife.
Since i'm poor I never got scammed for more than 10 bucks.
I could have easily broken their hand a couple of times while they dig for the knife on their knees on the floor.

But ten bucks it's not worth too much drama.

A couple of life lessons.
Never buy drugs from girls if they are pretty, You'll get easily mobbed at any point.
Never buy after 6 unless you know the person.
Don't buy shit from guys that look to be in a group.
Well not really from anyone after 6.
When they are on crack they tend to hang alone. They will always carry a knife.

"My buddy is right there"
thats a lie.
Never pay before.
Always inspect the stuff before if you are buying weed.
These guys are so dumb they don't even put it in realistic gram bags.
They will be stupid enough to put in in a wrapped dollar store plastic bag.
I'm just saying since I was naive enough a couple of times to pay first.
Then you get 5 crack heads pushing you, Or a hot cracked woman screaming rape. Or a random dude with a knife.
Sometimes its just a very big dude, No need for a knife, Their mass is enough to treat you like a stick figure.
Or at least me since I'm a bit skinny.
And I'm not as masculine looking as lets say Mr T.

There were ambulances outside of my building in my building all the time.
Sometimes blood.
Most of the times it was brown already.
If there is a stabbing the building won't clean it right away.
They would wait for the superintendent's shift next morning.


-------

I moved to my new place. The landlord though I was gay.
He tried hitting on me.
I told him how much I love Madonna. I said that her new record MDNA was great.
I said that Justin Timberlake had a great voice.
And That S Club 7 should reunite.
( I know that they are called S Club 3 or something like that now. I hate myself for knowing that, they are fat and old)

As always when they say That I look like Adam Lambert I loose my Shit.

Referencing shit sucks isn't it? Someone reading this in 5 years won't know what the hell I'm talking about....

Ps Rainbows and Cindy Lauper my beloved Rainbows.

Russian roulette

A 18 years old girl asked me to let her live with me yesterday.
I am bored and everything is wrong.
I tell her that I haven't even met her.
I tell her that she can try it out for four days and if it's not ok she'll have to leave.
Man, A Russian roulette Must be exiting.

One of my best friends in the world is heavily insane.
Diagnosed with heavy schizophrenia.
She is very good looking.
She is a year younger than me.
She is 24.
Very Skinny, Very Sweet, Very Warm.
Very Insane.


She once told me that she was once in solitary confinement in prison.
Apparently she bit a police officer.
When an offender bites a police officer,
 both of the humans engaged end up going to a hospital right away.
and if you have HIV you will go to prison for 5 years.
The female officer eventually dying and her kids crying around the corpse and other emo stuff like that as well.
Since you would have infected the officer with that as well.
Since my friend was negate that didn't happen.

I don't know for how long she was in prison for a fact.  I know that since she is mental she goes somewhere else to "Not hurt anybody".
She said she was in solitary confinement for 2 weeks.
That her room was absolutely dark. and that she didn't have human interaction with anyone for all that time.
2 weeks.
She is an overly sexualiced (or however you write that word) person.
That's why she became my friend so fast in the first place.
When I met her she said out loud in a big crowd of people around 4pm: "I wanna get Fucked In My pussy and In my asshole"
It was easy for me to speak to her afterwards.
Nothing made sense but It was so much fun.
somehow...
Anyways the overly sexualized (z?c?) friend in solitary confinement is bored and she gets some cinnamon bread and oreo cookies.
She puts the cinnamon bread inside of her ass because she is bored in the dark one night.
it is dry,
it crumbles,
it burns a little,
The sugar helps but its not very wet, It's a very dry Icing.
Anyways she gets it in.
The Oreo she puts a couple in her pussy,
they dont crumble that bad.

The Next day you will discover that the cinnamon bread is hard to take out of your rectum.
and it will burn but just a bit.
It would be hard to take out since its so dry, and your ass gets hydrated just enough.
So you might have to experience an uncomfortable dig.

The cookies are not that bad, Vaginas lubricate better so they are soggy and they can be removed easier after overnight exposure.

She is very Sweet, I just did a short film with her about sex and lasers,
haha hehe haha.
that should be up soon.
Have you ever thought about how much a pain in the rectum is to keyframe blur on pointy nipples?

She has been on schizo injections for about a month.
She is still crazy.
She is sterile while on those. one injection a month.
That last a month long.

 She want's to move here too.
and an escort friend as well.

 I see Trees of green........ Red roses too
I see em Bloom..... for Me and For You
And I think to Myself.... What a Wonderful World. 

Any Second.....
Let's See, I shouldn't have put my bag of cookies in the Toilet for fear of eating them stoned.

Maybe a good call. anorexia can get mean.

To end this.
Have you tried buying a Christmas tree on April?
I can lecture you on that...
There should be a book named " Psychology of Christmas Trees On April"....

 

A Bitter Lullaby

There is a one armed Midget with a big and thick brown mustache
Dancing polka over a puddle of blood.
With a big and white happy smile.
The walls have dangling intestines nailed onto them,
Dripping yellow juice.
Inside of a very old wooden barn.

A fat woman on a red dress wearing very bad whorish make up, gets into the room screaming,
Waiving her arms high up in the air violently.
Running in circles over the one armed midget.

The place is gray dusty poorly lit and smells like pus



Larry the ice cream man gets into the room and starts spraying pink perfume from a pinkish crystal airbag sprayer.
Walking in a happy and effeminate way over the room.
He stops and starts singing opera with his deep baritone voice.
Every time he changes a note he raises an arm up and puts an arm down.
He does this really fast and continuously since he changes his tone and pitch in a very dramatic fast and desperate way, It is almost as he was intending to murder the air in a very gruesome way.

A drop dead gorgeous woman with long brown hair wearing red lipstick wearing nothing but a blood red thong and very high, red high heels gets into the room, Exhaling only sex.
She gets on her knees and begins sucking the ice cream man's cock.
Her pointy nipples and boobs wiggle while she sucks the ice cream man's cock.
The vibrantly red lipstick taints the ice cream man's cock
He ignores her glaring with his dead pigeon eyes to the intestine covered grey wooden walls.



The one armed midget starts laughing and it sounds like a very bizarre Christmas song.
He laughs very choppy and loud and it doesn't stop as he dances polka over the puddle of blood.
The woman in the red dress keeps waiving her arms high up in the air violently and fierce-fully while screaming.
The lady starts coughing while she runs and then suddenly she falls into the ground violently shaking all over like a fish outside of the water.

An old blind and wrinkly black man wearing a grey suit and a bowler hat walks into the room and begins playing a beautiful sweet lullaby on a violin smiling and smoking a big cigar.
The woman is on the floor still shaking with yellow bubbles over her mouth.
The ice cream man has his pants down and his cock is dripping semen.
He is still singing opera and moving his arms up and down desperately.
The other young woman lays on the floor naked legs spread over, and completely out of consciousness.
The music gets softer and sweeter over the polka music and the sound of the feet of the one armed midget stepping on his shallow puddle of blood with a happy smile.

Love

Christina finally called me the other day.
I felt really relieved to hear back from her.
Day after day after I went to the gutters to look after her.
It's always close to the homeless shelters.
I kept going back there looking for her.
I didn't quite know what to feel about going there alone looking for her.
It could have probably made me sound like a brave guy but in reality I felt fear.
I didn't quite fit in there looking for her, but I didn't care.

I was well groomed, healthy with a home, a college degree and all that bull crap.
but I wasn't quite feeling alright, all that stuff to me seemed like a boring given.
yet I felt very bored about life and about people.
Most faces seemed dull, most conversations felt stupid.
Most people looked the same and talked about stuff I didn't care.
I didn't care about cars, I hated sports, I hated religion having no god, not really wanting a god.

When I was an outcast who didn't have any friends and who couldn't talk well, I remember longing to join and to be happy like the rest,
but then I discovered that no one that I knew was truly happy.
I knew a couple of people that were trying though.

One long haired crazy nomad hobo, a full time transexual wanting to become a woman and yet liking girls (the kind that like to keep his cock to be able to fuck women) and another girl friend of mine, a very talented musician.
Her boyfriend also seemed to make sense as he appeared to me that he was making it as a musician, even though I believe he didn't like me after I smeared my own shit on his washroom walls because he fucked my girlfriend that I had at the moment for revenge.
That is just a theory though, I can't really recall the event since I was overly intoxicated and or high.
I decided not to get intoxicated to that point anymore for my own safety.


That night I decided to go out dressed up as a girl just because I can,
My personal way to tell society it's wrong,
like a living surreal painting,
Green wig, mini skirt, whorish make up and whorish earrings, fishnets, whorish whore look.
I loved the way I was making most people girl friends on the street look as interesting as the weather network.

I felt really bad with her after I heard about the event.
Fuck for shit.
Round table, you can go and fuck your cape and sword.
I really didn't react the way I should have I guess, but in reality I couldn't have had control the situation.
I think it's a cool story nevertheless.

I have always thought that the most interesting people in society were also very bizarre to the rest of the world.
It was comforting in a way to find some people like you, since must people I found were too bland.
I lost the interest in blending in with this people a long time ago.
I needed some kind of excitement, something to remind me that something was going on,
something to remind me that there was something beyond to what we were expected in life.

One day on the way looking for Christina,
I tried buying weed from a guy, a very displeasing looking guy,
I was asking him about the prices of the dope hoping to get it cheaper,
He said violently that I was asking to many questions.

"You are asking to fucking many questions, You are buying my shit or what" he said
"well I just wanted some info" I said
The guy was significantly taller and bigger than me, I was also wearing make up and earrings like a good goth whore, which didn't really help.
"What, Are you trying to write a fucking book or what?" he said
"I'm actually trying but I think writing takes a little too much of you" I said
The guy grabbed me on the neck of my shirt and lifted me up with one hand and pushed me to the wall.
He did it so easily that I felt like a rag doll. I wasn't afraid of the monkey though.
as I was next to the wall, I felt really exited to be out of my room.
"Don't act funny with me buddy" he said.

"I know a very good joke about Jews if you want a laugh though, can I have my weed?" I said
He dropped me slowly, I handed him a ten, and then he was looking his pockets for weed.
He was digging violently on his pockets for the weed.
I knew he didn't have any...
He gave me a piece of crack, and left.
I lost the damned stone. what a waste of fucking money I though.

It felt relieved to hear about Christina, since I thought she was about to die any second.
When I met her she hadn't ate for the past four days, and the four days we were together she didn't eat.
She was 3 months pregnant and she was trying to get a miscarriage.

When she called me she told me she finally had it.
I was so happy that she was still alive, and specially that she was eating again.
She described the miscarriage as a bloodied clod of DNA with 2 heads.
I thought that that was deliciously insane and funny,
The first four words she said were, "I got my period!"
She asked me if she could stay at my place on the couch.
I said yes in a second.
I drank until I lost contentiousness then felt asleep.
I known this human for months but never seen her sleep.
She has very heavy Schizophrenia by the way.


The next morning I woke up at a beating of my bedroom door.
Really early in the morning, I hate fucking mornings....
She came inside of my room asking how I was, and I gently told her for the 5th or 6th time that I despised fucking mornings.
She turned the lights of my room on and started to look at herself on my large bedroom mirror.
She asked me not to look back,
I gently asked why?
She said, "cause I'm looking at my asshole"
I looked slightly, and she was behind me bent over looking at her asshole in my large bedroom window.
Then she said "I'm going to take a shower"
I said it was ok.
After a couple of minutes I decided to knock on the washroom door and asked her if I could come in.
She said, sure you can. The door was open all along.
She was showering with the drapes open all the way, She looked so sexy. So slim,
and she had this fuck me face on, Not the regular fuck me face, but the fuck me hard face on.

I didn't know you had your pussy pierced I said, as I was peeing.
"Oh, thanks, it really feels nice on my pussy" she said
"can i go shower with you?" i said
"no, wait" she said
Then she got out of the shower and I got naked in front of her,
It felt like primate love to me,
I didn't give a god damned shit as she saw me showering naked.
 She left the washroom, and I finished showering.
I rushed as much as I could.

I got inside of my room,
She had her pants down, she was checking her asshole again.
"Do you think my asshole is too big? she said
"how the fuck should I know" I said
"wanna see?"
I hesitated
then i said yes.
"Let me bring another lamp, you know, I have to be sure" I Said
I lit a big lamp next to the mirror next to her ass, which was next to the mirror.
She was bent over next to the mirror with her checks open, and I was supposed to inspect.
"I dont think your asshole is too big, I think its the perfect size" I said
"Really?, look closer" she said
Somehow I had my hands opening her ass cheeks in front of the mirror. Next to my face with heavyly bright studio lights.
We just showered and I could smell sex, and it smell really good.
I had her ass cheeks next to my face and her pussy on the mirror.
"I actually think your asshole is really tight, can you put a finger in it?" I said.
She did, I asked her to wet it a little or it wouldn't go in easy.
She licked her finger and put it straight up her ass.
I felt ready to pound like a madman or like a man that has been in in prison for so long that the closest memory of a girl left on his mind was Freddy the janitor.
I had one of the biggest hard-on's of my life.
"You just gave me the biggest hard on I have ever had". I said
"Really?" she said
"Really" I said.
"Wanna see my cock?" I said,
not that her answer would have really matter though....
I took my cock out
"It's huge" she said.
I laughed and said.
"haha, I've heard that before."
Then she grabbed my cock with her whole hand and started stroking it.
If there was a heaven I thought, I might as well be cumming on fucking god's face.

She suddenly went to the other room, and we decided to go out for adventure
I thought it was fun.
I still couldn't believe I haven't had real sex with her.
Not really sure if i actually did want it to.
Sex seemed too easy, This felt like madness, and I was loving it.

Then....
I thought.
why do we need love anyways?

http://www.flickr.com/photos/kolicko/7259385110/in/set-72157629870968716/

The Mental Asylum

This one is about the Mental Asylum.


He was living in the house of a friend of mine.
My close friend haven't had a "home" in years.
You could say he is a homeless person.
Actually that's the right way to call it.
But what's admirable of this human, Is that he is a self imposed all standing homeless human by choice.

He used to have a full time job as an accountant, I think his job was  being an accountant.
I don't quite remember it exactly, I think it was telemarketing.
His Hair was Short. and wore a tie.
His father is an intolerant Chinese man that has in his mind that you are shit if you are not an engineer or some kind of crap.
His British blond mother (I Image she is blonde for some reason) mother doesn't like him, because he is not "normal".
-We didn't raise a good boy....., etc.
 She lives on some kind of suburb, and what for my friend tells me,
She Hates Her Life.
According to my friend neither of his parents are happy.
 One day, at his office He Quit.
Just Quit.
Dropped everything, Made a huge scene in the office getting on top of his desk and said I quit.
The next night he went out wearing a pink tutu.and a pink plastic wand from the dollarama.
and some kind of tiara. Since he gave a dangling butthole about the opinion of the world)


He is about my same age, very skinny, very long brown Chinese/British hair down his butt.
Very warm hearted.
He has told me some of the most disturbing stories I ever heard, (I hope I was able to disturb him a bit, we liked to disturb people in public), and some of the best ways to live out of this evil world.

He called me one night,
 He was living in the house of his friend,
He was a "baby sitter" for a Boa Constrictor named "Manly Susan"
(The owner gave it a female name and then discovered She was a He)
His task was to give mice to this thing every once in a while, It was really cool seeing this Boa eat.
I read somewhere that most of the time when a boa swallows something the victim is still alive while the boa eats them.
Having all or most of your bones broken doesn't necessarily mean you will die.
So some fellows are eaten alive or the snake would get sad if the victim doesn't move.
It probably wouldn't eat, So if you are a sadist you have a first row to a slow painful death.
Get a snake, they make you hot.

I don't remember why but the bloody python didn't have a place to go after her friend was getting evicted for some reason. So I went to this place to get this murdering living machine (Just like us but less evil) back to my place.

I ended up living with a very cool 19 years old Gender Queer Dude, I swore he was a she when I met him, but thats for another story.

 He told me that he was living there for free since the owner of the place wasn't there and there was no one to take care of this beautiful lovely creature.

He was using the place for prostitution,
People need a place to fuck, but not all the time you can afford a hotel.
Or want to be associated with one.
So some people will give you some money if you are their friend, and they'll ask to fuck in your place While you wait in the staircase and they'll split some money with you.
You go to the staircase, don't leave anything valuable, (dah), and in the next hour you made maybe 50 bucks.
Sometimes you've got to pretend you are her boyfriend and you have to pretend to get upset while seeing your "girlfriend" fuck this dude, that thought really turns some people on.
 While in reality you are sipping vodka waiting for the day to be over.
Down under squishy sounds and the smell of sex.




_____
One day he said he wanted to die, he wanted to die SO bad,
Very Bad, it even scared me, that would have made me so so so very sad.
I didn't hear about the story until it was all done.
Happily it didn't come to fruition.

We addicts like different highs.
I'm drink quite a bit, My friend is a prescription drug freak and they are fucking wise on getting them, trust me.
Pharmacists sound like amateurs.

Some are S toners. The Chillest bunch, not the deepest conversationalists, but very fun.
I have dealt with a couple of crack heads, they are not good friends. They'll betray you.
It's better in a way. Never Thrust One.
If you think about it it's understandable.
It's very cheap and it last for so long.
Shitty it causes heavy psychosis.
and it's heavily addicting so I wouldn't advise you that.

Never Buy drugs from a girl or after the sun comes down unless you know them.
or from anyone that sounds too intense.
Never Pay in Advance.
This isn't sexism.

I'm just saying this since from the girl point of view.
It's so easy to start screaming.
 There is no logic, reason or way to win so that kind of situations should be avoided. Unless you want to be Mobbed.

And believe me, it can happen easier that you would think.
Even if you tried your best to make the best for everybody.

When there is no sunlight, Anyone selling you anything means a potential ambush.
Not from the stoners but from the crack heads, Those guys are vicious.
It might just be where I live... but I don't think so.
The girl could always start screaming something like "who is my home boy" and you'll get a mob against you.


_ I was waiting in the staircase for the elevator to come down with my friend while this couple fucked.
We were just waiting so we could get the bloody snake off this place after they fucked.
It was hilarious to have a huge fish tank in the bus with a murderous snake huge thing.
We answered everybody that asked for  the reason of the snake.
 We said that we were huge homosexuals, and that there was no better feeling than having an snake tail up your butt.
or that we where part of a cult of Lucifer.
They went to the front of the bus...

4 seats where free around us all of a sudden,.




 Yeah, the mental Asylum shit...


-He Told me One day that he was bored.
I told him I was bored too.
I told him him that I really needed some passion. Any Kind.
He told me that one night on this 14, 13 floor apartment (something like that)
He was SO ready to jump of the window.
Jump down to oblivion, get all your bones broken and shattered and making your brain a mass of pinky flesh.
He was so ready, but he didn't want to die.

There is a suicide line available. 416-408-HELP at least up to today's date. Feb 22nd 2013.
So there was a mob of ambulances, Fire fighters and noises, Plenty of death.
Almost announcing his death.
Then you get an ambulance with a ticket for you to the mental ward.
He is alive you dear human reading this. 

So you get confined to the mental Asylum, if you go by yourself, there is no way to leave until you successfully reach 3 "normal" days.
Which make no sense to me since you are all drugged up on opiates (Irony I Know).
You will be drugged. So if you have psychosis you won't be dangerous and you will be lame
Fact.
Docile.


Everything is white, Everything is Quiet.
Doors don't squeak, everything is White.
There is no violence.
Not even foot steps are heard.
TV is abundant and so are drugs.
and No one speaks to anyone.
Obviously, It's all dormant stuff.
Obviously.

The Text is From Paradise Lost

Bile

This one is about last Halloween I went to Ottawa to visit.
I was working for a restaurant in Toronto by that time and everything was getting quite boring.
I got 3 days off for some reason,
So I decided to check back a couple people over there.
Most of my friends over there are drug addicts, Musicians, Blatantly Homosexual People, Cross-dressers, Gender Queers, Homeless people, alcoholics, artists, people with questionable sanity.
You would be surprised that all those adjectives define a big bunch of people, Sometimes all of them describe one.

I went to my exe's place.
She and one of my best friends were living  together at the same time  and at the same place for some reason.
I didn't know where I was going to sleep that day that I arrived to Ottawa.
I was surprised that I got a message from my ex almost right away when I arrived there.

I saw one of the people I dislike the least in the world at that Ottawa mall.
Almost as soon as I arrived.
A random half asian half british homeless dude, was already waiting for me.

I was fascinated about meeting this human the first time we did.
He showed me his notebook, filled with newspaper cut out words.
Plenty of colors on those insane looking pages,
Lots of glue and Red.
Red all over.
Cut Outs of blood from newspapers.
Quite pretty, Not gruesome. Just pretty.
Not that I think that blood is cute or nice. Just the faces, the cut outs where so dramatic and interesting.

This time we were going in drag to my friends band  show from Toronto.

We were putting my friend's dresses  on for the show.
Not my exe's dresses the other one's.
They are both female.
One had been a female all her life.

I said, Dude you can't wear that dress with those hairy legs.
You would look caricature silly.
I discovered he had never shaven his legs.
So for the next hour I was wearing a skin tight dress, High Heels and Lipstick.
 Sitting in the toilet bowl helping my friend shave his legs while he was sitting on a half filled tub, since we were so late for the show.
Not feeling homosexual at all at any point. Just embracing madness.
I did one leg while he was doing the other.
He was so hairy for being a skinny fragile looking asian human.

And then we went. Most of the band was also wearing dresses, they were covered in fake blood.
Which I like, I always Like cross dressers with guitars covered in blood.
That is something that I would probably like right away, so If you want me to like you, now you know how.

The next day we were supposed to go to a show at night. But we didin't.
My friend wanted to get some opiates. 
Prescription drugs.
I find those a bit boring, since people get so boring on them.
And they kill people more often than other drugs, since they are so incredibly potent; and intravenous injections seem to be way more aggressive.
I remember talking in the morning on that same day with this guy
about an artist that I used to work with  that died out of an overdose of Barbiturates, an opiate.

He told me how someone almost died on him once, with opiates, Someone he knew.
A homosexual friend of his was dating this doctor, and he was getting all this sort of drugs.
He got some kind of patch for something, that they crushed and injected. I think it was for morphine addiction. He got a shot and he got really blue with him.
He survived, my asian friend went monkey with his chest and the other started to cough.

We took a bus to the middle of nowhere where this friend of his was staying with his sugar daddy.
He was about to get evicted. We told him that we wanted to party and go to a show.
He asked us to follow him, this person is younger than us, early 90's, very good looking.
Im a late 80's myself. and so its James.


Might be a bit late to describe ourselves but here it goes,
James is very skinny, his hair is very long and brown, it reaches his butt Asian fragile calm and introspective.
He wears thick glasses and kinda looks like mister miyagi mixed with KMDFM.

Me I don't know, I'm a bit disturbed.
I wear eyeliner.

This other guy looks like Justin Timberlake, but he is not Lame.

After going to this place in the middle of nowhere this Timberlake like guy got a bag filled with clonazepan.
They recently changed the formula by the way.
Now it is  a "chewable" so you cannot crush it and filter it.
 We went to my exe's house, this dude had a bunch of brand new needles.
They got really sick. But they seemed so calmed.
I was way to intoxicated, I could not attend the show, I could not stop puking all night.
I puked for hours.
I did not, could not sleep.
This guy came at night all horny and asked me If I wanted to go with him to his room.
He was surrounded by my exes dirty panties in the bed, an incestuous arrangement of disturbance. 
I puked hardcore.
I was still feeling alive.
Bile tastes so bitter. I have never puked so much of it.

Next morning I left, I wrote this short story about this human that liked to have sex with knife wounds he inflicted to people.
In their lungs.
and some Ideas for happy puppets.