Mr Tree

I like To Pretend.

Let's Play A game, it's called Pretend.

So now you Are not Here,
You Are Where I Am Telling You Where You Are.
Just Like  book. Or Some Lame Shit Like that.


The Setting Is a Forest, You Don't know What Time It Is.
Its Grey, The Sky is Grey, The Grass Is Wet.
It Feels Cold on Your Skin and You Feel Lonesome.
There is Lots of Pine Nettles on the ground,
They are Dead, and when they die they turn red before they Decompose.
The Earth is Red.
There is a very very Mild Rain, Like floating Drifting Water.
It's Very Misty so You Can Barely See Past your Arms length.

There are some plants, That Feel Afraid of you.
When you touch them they Will Contract Like Scared Animals.
I've Seen them, They Exist.

You walk Around only with some briefs.
You Barely Have Clothes on.
Its a bit Cold But the Mist Comforts you and Makes You Feel Alive.

You have a candle in One Hand Sheltered by some Sort of Wind Shield.
Some Metal Crafted thing that looks Pretty and Has Glass on every side.
It Is Made out of Some Kind of Brass Looking Thing.

You thought you went insane, And very likely you did.

A Tree has spoken to you.

The Tree Said that he couldn't understand humans,
That everything had a balance on existence But Humans seem to Override that Pattern.

The Tree told you that humanity were a bunch of greedy overly Neurotic Monkeys.
The Tree's Voice had such a deep voice.

You hugged him anyways.


In  a bit of rage you got a knife and carved into him "I <3 You" while the Tree Screamed.

The Tree had no arms so it couldn't defend itself.
Good Bye Mr Tree, You give him a last hug and then you stumble in the mist and cold.

Crawling Into You

I was all lost, My Keyboard looked all Mean.
And it Looked Like it was Making Fun of Me.
It Said that I wasn't a complete Human.
That I Was Pathetic In the eyes of God.
But It Was A senseless Device Telling Me What To Do.

I Smashed it into The Ground.
And Stepped on it so Hard My Beloved Cat Was Afraid.
Pieces of Plastic Splashed all over.
There is some some kind of Plasticky Circuit Board In it, Where Your Keys live.
Have you ever tried writing without a keyboard?

Thats actually half a lie, since I couldn't write this without a keyboard.
But Have you ever tried to Write on a keyboard Split in two?
I have, It's Hard.
It's a Friday night and she is away.
Which Means you are fucked for a couple of days.
Then Tell Me who is alone or Isolated.

I didn't Wan't to work but the feeling that I didn't have to Comforted Me.
I was on a privileged place.

I just wanted to be in Love, Nothing else mattered.
Well of course stuff matters. You can't always lie about you needing Shelter, Food and Compassion.
Maybe you have dreams, Maybe you wanna party, Travel the world, Be high, be a performer, A filmmaker a musician, a never ending etc.

A something to Justify you. and you being you and to justify what you are and what you feel. Something small to Make you feel Better Than a Piece of Meat That it Exist Just for the Sake of Existence.

Cockroaches Roamed into my mouth.
Crawling into My Mouth As I Slept.
Heart Broken Eaten out By Parasites.


The warmest parasites of the world.

Area 1 part 1

Area 1

Part 1:

It Was Always Dark. The Season was the fall.

I never woke up before twelve in the afternoon, So by the time I was ready to Face the World, it was Already Dark outside.

I remember that If it Wasn't Dark, it would be very cloudy grey and rainy.

It wasn't cold enough for you to completely hate to be outside, or cold enough to kill you if you went to a black out stupor.

-

I Was living alone, My roommate just left.

I hated his presence, I hated talking to him, I hated to interact with him.

He Made me feel Dirty, Because I wasn't doing what I was supposed to be expected to be doing.

He Was Everything I didn't want to be, But he Wasn't the first to do so looking back.

He wasn't an evil person but his lack of passion bugged me greatly. 

He Was a Good Boy into Business School, That Wanted to have a Good Well  Paid Job to Buy Him a Whatever Narrow Minded Crap He Had in mind, Start a Family, Having Children, Have your trophy wife and then Nothing Until you Reach middle age and you Blow Up your silly little Brains Against a White Wall Making a Picasso Out of Your Brain Meat.

I Just Remember how Everything I did Was A Threat to His Conformist little mind.

I was so Glad when he left.

His lease was up and I had the whole floor for Myself. A two bedroom apartment in the second floor of a boring cold city.

By this Time I was already done with College.

Very Shortly After being done with it, I was In this Shitty town, With a stupidly low amount of people.

That Means that you will likely meet less interesting people just for the amount of people congregated in one place,

And After you do meet people that you actually want to interact, You Discover that they are also kinda tied in a horrible way with simple life stuff. which is understandable.

But those were the like 4 ,5 humans you liked. and if they where busy in this stupid random nowhere. 

You are all Alone.

My Routine Was Simple.

I was Done with College, So I only Stood in this place for little.

About six months before I moved out to Somewhere less Depressing.

 My Roommate was gone Which Gave me a lot of freedom.

I did have a Job, It was a nice job, A Night Job of course.

I was a Camera man at the Horse Tracks.

Three days a week. Thursday, Friday and Sunday Nights.

Monday's in The Summer. 5:00 to 11:30pm.

Earlier on Mondays I think.

Without School, or plans or anything. I was terribly Bored.

I did always have a plan of becoming a Musician, Performer.  None of My Terms Came to be so I did not do so.

I knew that I was Moving so I let me to have a break. (Time Wasted)

Since i didn't want to be a mediocre act.

I Always Tried to Make Art. 

Music More than Anything Else. But With no Realistic Fruition.

You couldn't really interact with friends since the city was so small and everybody lives in their own private hell.

You could only expect them  to be drinking buddies since their Life was too busy. 

Doubts and fear.

Hey love, Do you think the world hates me?

-Of course darling, the world hates us all equally.

Why are we here love?

-We are here to suffer love.

Why are we here to suffer?

Because we are.

And why do we are what we are? 

A universe of doubts and fear.

Then The Universe Must be stupid.

_how Can something so complex be so messed up?

Because we are fucking dumb mammals, Isn't that obvious to you?

I think you are right, I think we are just flesh and blood, And We Can't Understand Each Other.

I for Instance Stopped eating. You Must know it.

I know love I know Please Hug me. it's ok.

It's ok, It has to be ok. It Must be ok.

Or else we are going to Ernest Hemingway Each other.

I'll Leave you with This.

Death Feels so Warm Coming from you.
It Gently Touches My chin and My Cheeks.
And Feels Warmer that Any hug or Caress I Have Ever Had.


Then is rest, Floating without Caring into Nothingness.
Like being in a warm pool of water by yourself.
With only your thoughts stopping you from greatness.

The doctor said you were a bit too anxious.
Had to prescribe you with benzodrines.
After a nervous breakdown caused by alcohol withdrawal syndrome.

I saw life like I saw a steak, fibers interlacing with tissue and bone.
Dirt in the ground filled with minerals to have vegetable life to live in.
To Serve as food.
For Our Food, For Your Food.


It's 4:20 am in the Morning, Like it always is.
I don't want to go But ill Leave you with this.