The Tragic Story of Alan Turing and William Wallace

There is a Thought in your Head, and It Burns.
It smolders in Your Chest.
And it Pains and it Hurts,
And Sprays Ashes and Smoke in Your Head.
Over your Head, In your Face.
Where You Tend to Breathe.

Of Course your eyes Are Blind because of the Smoke.
And you Cry Like Your Most Beloved Person Died.

You are A Dying Wounded Animal.

It's Just that You Don't Have a Puncture Point in your Heart  caused by a foreign Object like John Lennon Did.
Or Your Brain Meats splattered All over Making Post Modern Art on the Ground.

Everybody is a Dying wounded animal, Just some people are able to cope with it Better.

Did you know that In China a law was passed 2281 BCE to 600 AD.
It was a rule for a while that Rapist , war criminals, and The Families of them as well Had to endure Castration.

Castration Was a common Practice.

The Modern world killed Oscar Wilde for being in Love.

Mutilated Alan Turing. 

Castrated William Wallace.

Promise of Sorrow

Have you ever stopped to think when did the future turned to be a Promise and Became a Threat?
I think it's hard enough to find a reason not to kill yourself.
Let alone grab a machine gun and go on a killing spree saying afterwards that the Christ told you Right in your face.
Saying that you've been touched by god.
Like Joan of Arc.
As far as I know thats a Direct diagnosis of schizophrenia.

Having a Nice warm Blood splat in your chest. 
I really don't want to kill anyone, I swear.
Just me.
Intensively.
That was me about 4 months ago.

I tried about 3 things, None of them worked.
One night I had 3 40's of whiskey. I ended up puking out so much. So much Bile.
There's a critical point in your body that when you have enough toxins inside of it, Your body will react and make you shit, piss and vomit anything that is too toxic inside of you.
If you don't pass out, You'll be awake all night feeling like ass.
This form of suicide only works if you do it about a month long and you have to stop eating too.
After a while you can't get food inside of you.
Even if you try.
You'll feel an unexplainable anxiety that does not stop.
Losing your brain is the best, and the most sane think to do.
I mean who gets so stupid to be Oscar Wilde and  or shakespeare.

As far as I know most alcohol poisoning deaths have to do with  drowning in vomit.
Some of them are  Hypothermia it happens to be in the winter, it depends where you are and what date it is.
For so long. I just wasn't able to die that way. I couldn't swallow anything the day after.
My throat was so sore out of vomiting so much.
A nice way to loose weight.
I got so hot, hahahehe.

I haven't been thinking of death for a while.

Haiku

I remember Waking up next to you.  

0We sleep naked. hugging each other. 

The first scent everyday is your Hair.

The most beautiful smell possible.

The first thing I would say to you everyday is

 I love you.

I would force myself to make you breakfast. I would look at you while you laugh and drink your coffee.

That I made for you everyday.

You made me feel powerful and special.

Haiku Whatever Whatever.

I know its not a Haiku

Smooth as the rain

The Nesecity of being afraid is no longer required.
I'll try to make this rhyme.
When your heart is dry, when your heart has Died.
In grief you lay, in grief you die.
But I hold your hands fragile as twigs, smooth as the rain.
I kiss your neck, and tell you that I love you.
Make me die, make me die.
Your face is pretty and you kiss my face.
Make me die oh make me die.
In my artificial drug influenced apartment
Make me die, you die as I die.
I love you love, I lay next to you
I'm happy, I could cry.
In the middle of the unexpected.

Besame Mucho

I miss your touch,
I miss your breath,
I miss waking up beside you,
And telling you how much I love you.
I miss your lips, I miss your breast.
I miss your smile I miss your face.
I miss your hippie shit.
I also miss making breakfast for you.
I miss loving you.
Well that will never stop and it haunts me.
I miss making love to you.
I miss loving you.
I miss you you were my muse and my reason to live.
I miss dancing with you in the streets of Mexico city. I miss your warmth.
I miss loving you.
Besame, besame Mucho Love

Let Me Perish

Hold me in your arms until I wither and die.
Crush me, break me, hurt me.
Make my last moments on earth feel like I mattered.
But most importantly like I was loved and cherished.
Let me perish with a smile even if it's wet with tears.
I want to feel special as my final last breath evacuates my body and my soul evacuates earth.
Let me perish with a smile even if it feels I will no longer hear music and will no longer feel your lips.
Let me perish even knowing I will never feel your warmth again.
Let me evacuate earth, where I no longer see the stars while laying down in the grass.
And no longer hear the rain, hear the sounds of rushing water or smell the earth.
Where I no longer be pretty again as I will die, but my soul will vanish triumphantly.
Let me touch your face.
Let me feel your breath.
Let me touch your breast and feel your heart.
Let me hug you as I perish.
Let me embrace perdition as we will soon be one.
Let me look at you in the eye as I passionately grab your neck with one hand with tears in my eyes and evacuate earth.

Mienteme por favor

Me Gusta besarte,
Tal vez no me Amas,
Pero eso no importa.

Mienteme por favor, quiero que me mientas.
Solo tu puedes Besarme, ya que mi Corazon duele y ha pasado mucho tiempo desde que he podido sentir con un beso.
Me besaste y senti una Cascada de emociones corriendo por mi piel.
Cada momento que tocaba tu piel y disfrutaba tu amor y tu calor me hacia sentir que vivia de Nuevo.

Mienteme no importa que me mientas,
Quiero que sepas que pienso que eres especial y no mereces sufrir.
Me haces sentir que el Mundo importa.
Y aunque yo sufra, hacerte sonreir me da Vida nueva, un renacer.

Mienteme besame, amame, el Mundo realmente no importa o lo hace?
Que sentido tiene uno de vivir en un vacio?
Un vacio dentro de ti, un vacio a tu alrededor. Un vacio alrededor de Todos, un vacio Cuando cae la Noche, un vacio al despertar, un vacio en tu alma un vacio en tu Corazon Cuando miras a la obscuridad y la obscuridad te Mira a ti.

Besa mi mano y mira El Lago y mira la distancia, siente el aroma de la Noche y toma mi mano y besame de Nuevo.
Toca el Agua con tu mano, es fria.
Mirame a los ojos.
Toca mi Cara con tu mano aun fria con el Agua, pretandamos que Estamos muertos.
Y abrazame en la Noche bajo la Luna.

__________________________________

I Like to Kiss You,
Maybe you don't love me,
But that doesn't Matter.

Lie to Me Please, I want you to lie to me.
Only you can Kiss me.
My heart is Hurting and I Haven't feel anything with A kiss for very long time.
When you kissed me a cascade of emotions ran through my skin,
Everytime I touched your skin and enjoyed your love your warmth made me feel like I lived again.

Lie to me, it doesn't matter that you lie, I want you to know that you are special and don't diserve to suffer.
You make me feel like the world matters.
And even if I suffer making you smile gives me new life, makes me feel reborn.

Lie to me, Love me, the world doesn't matter does it?
What sense does it make to live in emptiness, emptiness inside of you, emptiness surrounding you.
Emptiness around all of us, an emptiness when the night falls down upon us, emptiness when we wake up,  emptiness in your heart when you stare into the darkness and the darkness stares back at you.

Kiss My hand and look at the lake, look at the distance, feel the smell of the night and touch my hand and kiss me again.
Touch the water with your hand, the water is cold.
Look into my eyes, touch my face with your hand still cold and let's pretend we are dead.
And hug me under the moonlight.